Merging & Splitting

Merging & Splitting

Your paintings are so serene; the colors are so intense, what inspires your art? This question is always the hardest for me to answer.  Mostly I just smile, and say its nature.  Which is true.  But it’s the hidden aspects of nature that inspires my art.  The unseen natural world and the explosions of color, both serene and psychedelic are the hidden worlds I try to bring into this human realm.  I’ve been meditating since I was a teenager and early on I was taught to focus on the sounds of the Earth to quiet me down and take me inside.  Ocean waves on the beach, crickets, the fluttering wings of birds and the wind gently blowing through the trees…  all became my teachers, all are the driving force of my art and the forces that push me deeper into the realms of the netherworlds, where color allows light to take form and interact with my inner world.

Mornings I get up early, just before dawn.  There is no other time during the 24 hour cycle of our Earths spinning that is as filled with magic as the last hour of night as it gives way to the edge of morning.  To be deep in the innerspace of inter-dimensional timelessness as the sun travels upwards of the Earth’s shore is an experience that has changed my life completely.  Serenity and the link with the universe overflows every aspect of my being, and I breathe deeply into the dark of night as it turns midnight blue and gently gives way to violet, and the glowing lines of orange and red that herald the sun. Immersing myself in the energy and love of the early dawn, I prepare for the day ahead and hold the state of dreamy peacefulness deep inside me.

Now, let me be clear.  I was not so dedicated to meditation that I became a devotee of the morning by choice.  This is the hour just before the big race …………………

“MOM ” The shrieking of my youngest son who doesn’t want to be awake at the ungodly hour the elementary school bus arrives.  “Mooooommmmmm… your making me late!  Its YOUR fault I didn’t get up!!”  I remind him of the thing on his phone called an alarm, but somewhere inside I think maybe he’s right.    I was blissed out on the rising sun, I lost the Earth and now the serenity of merging with the universe has segued into the mad race to the bus stop

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” I hear my own voice saying.  I’m rushing around in a body that hasn’t caught up with the Earth’s rotation and shrieking like a banshee.   How did I get here?  Less than 5 minutes ago I was in union with the all cosmic force of universal light and love and now I’m staring at toast and wondering how shoes ended up in the dog bowl, while my son proclaims (in his most dramatic voice ever) that he doesn’t want to meet the school dress code requirements and he hates his breakfast and he’s going to starve! I’m trying not to laugh and all I can say is “okay”.   I tell myself to breath, to remember the serenity, bring it with you, bring it inside you, I repeat in my mind.  It doesn’t work; I’m still heading towards banshee.

We run out of the house with 2 minutes till the bus arrives.  My son stops, “Mom” he says.

“What?!” I snapped back, having now completed the transformation into full banshee form.

His voice is quiet and he says, “The sun, it’s coming up and I can still see the moon. It’s God showing us his heart.”

I am speechless and breathless as we get into the car to make the quarter mile drive to the bus stop.

“I love you” I say, as he gets out of the car.  He rolls his eyes and places the earbuds into his ears,

“I love you too mom,” as he slams the car door.

As the bus pulls off into the morning, I take a deep breath before I go home and start the whole thing over again with my other son, who goes to school when the sun has actually passed the tree line.  The magic of the early morning meditation is a blur in my memory and I plug my iPod into the car and turn up the music; the New York Dolls and Davey Jo is screaming… “personality crisis yeah yeah yeah.”

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